Horses Suck

If horses are so great, why haven't they why have only two of them ever been senators of major countries? That's right. I'm taking down horses. Hey, Vet. You hear that horse? Neigh, neigh, neighing in the background, saying, "Uhhhh, I'm a beautiful stallion."

Not in this house, buddy. In this house we don't protecting that bull crap. Horses are meant for one thing only and only one thing. Being depressed and well, two things; being depressing, yet humorous stars of animated Netflix shows, and jumping. I want to see horses jumping so far. So far. You know a horse that doesn't jump, you know what I call that? A son of a bitch.

Non-jumping horses are son of a bitch horses. They're born out of dogs, man. They're born out of dogs, not humans. I think, humans don't do humans give birth to horses? Maybe, who knows. I ain't researching crap. I'm just like that. I'm a bad I'm the bad boy of online journalism. That's what we call me here. Not Jackass, or Stink Face, or That Guy. No, I'm the Bad Boy of online journalism, and people like me and horses can suck. Dogs are better.

I have friends.