How to Entice and Bribe American Politicians the Russian Way

Number One: Often an underlooked aspect for getting American politicians totally under your control is simple peer-to-peer contact. Go to American politicians, talk to them, present them with how to best get their personal fantasies into reality. Do you simply present yourself as more bear than man in playing to their power fantasies, or do you bring out how your wife lets you sleep around? It is an important part of growing your business in America.

Number Two. Do they have any childhood vendettas that they may want to enact upon a larger scale?  Look this up. Find this out. Talk to their friends. Talk to their many ex-wives. See what desperate vendettas started in childhood that you can help them enact.

Number Three: Money is a classic for a reason. Simply pay them money. Do you have money? Do they want money? You give them money, they do things for you. Easy Peasy.

Number Four:  In Russia legs are commodities. Simply threaten to cut off leg. That will get anybody to shut up.

Number Five: Remember, try to find somebody at your morality level. Are you a goody-two-shoes who only sells drugs to children and poor war widows? Or are you a real business man who’s willing to do anything it takes to get ahead? Most American politicians want to talk to ambitious, successful people, so it’s important to have a real, strong handshake.

Remember, the fields of influencing American politicians is exciting and growing each and every day. Keep it loose. Play it by ear. Improvise. The world is now yours.