Pendargon Magazine

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The Five Approved Things in Comedy

You want to story; you want to be great; well. guess what. Here there are now only five things you can do that will be approved.

 1. A Funny Person Is Also Sad

Dose your story have a a super funny person in it. Well, guess what. That person is sad, super sad, not necessarily clinical depression, but it should be though. You don't have to though. You can be that sort of person. Just make sure if the person is making people laugh, just make sure that they are dead in the inside. Also they should walk around the city (New York you asshole) with jazz music playing.

2. Celebrity Person should Make Fun of Self By Playing Themself

Fuck you, you, you. You think that you can get away with any damn moron of the street, no! It has to be a Celebrity. All the jokes have to be references to the Celebrity. That is the only jokes you're aloud to make, and if you do not I will come to your house and slit your worthless throat.

3. Stop Your Jokes and Love Family

Who do you think you are, you are, monster. You think a comedy has to be funny. Wrong. You think that a comedy should be funny. No, comedies are made for you to love family more. You Hitler, you're just the worst sort of person. You should just dig your own grave because the most important thing is to love family, because that is the most important thing in the world.

4. You Have to Do Drugs and Have a Party

Hey, do you know what is funny. Drugs...................... If you don't laugh at that I will come to your house and I will drop you in the middle of the ocean where you will die because guess what. It is always funny when someone does drugs, that is, like the most funny thing in the world. There is no need to add to that. Just show someone doing drugs.

5.  Improv Everything

Just remember that story line characters are bad and they should never ever get anywhere near a comedy. Also, if you're a director or an editor fuck you! Just shut up and don't do anything. Your job is just to shoot the actor as they say super funny things. That is all you do. nothing more. Improv is all you need to for anything to be good.