Do Snakes Feel Love Wonders Aloud Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz today lay in the grass outside of Capital Hill and stared intently into the eyes of a snake and asked one of the many homeless reporters that live in Washington, D.C., “Do snakes feel love? Do you think a guy snake and a lady snake ever kiss each other, and know that they love each other?”

One of the many mad roving reporters that live in the dense forests of Washington, D.C. said she wasn’t sure entirely if that was true. Ted Cruz sighed and got up and brushed himself off, and said, “That’s sad. I wish snakes would feel love. Snakes are so beautiful. A lot of people think they are ugly, but really snakes are beautiful. They eat bugs. I like snakes. Oh well, time to go back to being a senator and making it hard for gay people to be treated like human beings. Bye snake. Have a good time.”