Local area man, Darwin Dwayne, somehow was able to learn how to fly.  And now has the ability of flying through the air at a great and speeds, Darwin Dwayne's happy, smiling face of total contentment can be seen across the local are. Yet he selfishly refuses to tell anybody how to do it.

When directly asked by reporters, he'll just smile and nod and give a little wink, and say, "Oh, you know. It's just a thing." It's not just a thing, Darwin. You got to tell us what the thing is. You're being a jerk, you know that? A total jerk.