Boy, how proud I felt when, as a child, I desperately tried to nurse that impossible, never-gonna-happen-in-a-million-years, very dumb dream of becoming a professional baseball player.

I would run and get exhausted and fail miserably and loser who lost and come in last place, and then, at the end of the year, as a testament to how great I failed, they would in bronze present me with a trophy that I would forever be able to see a trophy saying Last Place. That would then be displayed very prominently, in a high position, so that all could see how terribly I did for the rest of my life. Boy, it made me feel proud to see that.