I get these new freakin' pants, they're beautiful pants, lovely pants, good lookin' pants, Chino's. I need some Chinos in my life. You know, it's what you call, I'm trying to dress a little bit better, a little bit nicer. You know, maybe attract the ladies.

Anyways, so I get these freakin' chinos and they're lovely and I like them, but you know they're a little long on me. I'd be trippin' over them as I walk, so I'm like buddy can I get these altered and they're like yeah, Banana Republic alter stuff all the time. So I'm like wonderful. So we do the little thing and we cut it just slightly and I thought, you know, trim it just slightly and I say, okay, I need to see how I like them, you know. Just a little bit, just so they don't go over my shoes. And he says, yup, yeah, we'll send them off to the tailor.

So, few days later I get the freakin' pants back and guess what? Not only is it just not the implication that I thought we had established, no. They're freakin' shorts. I don't need new shorts. I got plenty of shorts. What I needed was a nice pair of pants. Something light and durable, that can you know, be good in travel situations. And I'm like, buddy, these are freakin' shorts. He's says, well those are the alterations. Buddy, buddy, you are the one who did the alterations. The alterations are wrong. These are shorts. Why would I need...I came in here with pants.

He goes like well, Banana Public don't take alterations back. And I'm like buddy, buddy, buddy, listen to me. This ain't your fault. It's clearly the fuck up of the tailor. I remember you. You got it where I wanted it, not this abomination that somehow we ended up in. I suspect that the tailor, and follow me on this because I think like the true nature of the frickin' thing, is that the tailor kinda screwed it up and you're probably like some comical frickin' thing, you know where you get like no, I cut this, I cut that, I cut this. Boom.

Not your fault. Not your fault, but it's totally useless and you're the one who uses this service. Not me, if I didn't pick the service. If I picked the service then it would be, you know, my fault. But you're the one who used the service so you gotta take this back. And he goes like, fine. And I go like, fine. What a freakin' tragedy man. Total frickin' tragedy. I loved these pants. They were good lookin' pants. I wanted these pants. These were the pants that I was setting out to really build myself a love of it.