Pendargon Magazine

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Area woman not sure if job offer a great opportunity or a scam?

Maureen Peckham, our local area woman, today at a luncheon revealed to her friend, me, that she was celebrating her job, which you know started reasonably. We had a little wine and eventually, I don't know how it happened, but we were on a cruise somewhere and we were just like drinking straight out of the engine. I don't know. I don't even know which boat it was. I think it was a Carnival cruise, but it was scary, 'cause all the people were like monster face people and they had like green skin and they were all biting on their own arms. They were like, mm, my own arm's delicious, it tastes like delicious meat. Everybody had to admit, well I think they just had a lot of ego problems, that's just my opinion.

But anyways what I was saying was, Maureen my buddy, my close compadre, my amigo, the ying to my less famous Doobie brother. She said to me, she was excited about this new job opportunity but in a lot of ways this job opportunity seems like the worst thing that could ever happen to her and would kill everything she believed in as a person. The only thing she really wanted to do is run away from it and go to Portland and be a book seller. I was like, oh, that's a thing? She was like, slowly being killed. I'm on that track and I can see it happening each and every instance, and I just want to yell out no, don't do that. Stop it, just stop it right now. But you know that's just not happening.

I can't stop that, and I have trouble even thinking of how to stop it. I'm just like, Yeah I guess you're right, I don't got to take it. It could be a scam anyways, she said. It was then that we drank more and more, most of it in silence. There was some sort of red drink. I looked into it and I could have sworn, and this is a true thing that I really thought, like I saw a skull just come out of it. Gone, I was like whoa dude, that's freaking weird.

I didn't see Maureen for like a few days after that. I tried calling her a few times and I said listen Maureen it's not like that big of a deal. I mean I remember when I first got this job, I was so nervous about it all. She texted me later a GIF of a guy just repeatedly hitting his head on a desk. I don't know if I totally got what she was trying to tell me. But she did text later saying she's so happy. But then another GIF of a guy repeatedly hitting his head on a desk. It's a riddle wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in another enigma. The Doobie brothers weren't really brothers? Wow that's shocking. I mean this doesn't have anything to do with anything but I thought they were all brothers. Oh man. I guess that makes sense 'cause none of them look like each other. Their last names weren't Doobie. That's heartbreaking. I don't really want to think about what's going on with my friend at the moment.

Because she sounds so sad in everything she says, and if I confront that, I don't know how to confront that 'cause I feel like anything I say will ruin her life in some way. Which is you know, a thing. So I'm just going to focus on the Doobie brothers, their struggles. I mean if you look at them, their Wikipedia pages, it's long. They've got words, so many words. It's a collection of things, I mean you could read this and I bet you would learn a lot of things about the 1950's and Doobies, which now that I think about it probably refers to the marijuana, which is you know a thing. Well that's all I got to say about the Doobie brothers, then some other thing that was happening. Okay, one of these, I'm still kind of on a bender, I don't even know which country I'm in right now.