David Goyer making a He-Man movie. Why not?

So David S. Goyer is making a He-Man movie. Sure, what the heck. Why don't we make a He-Man movie? It's not like we got any other fucking thing going on, especially Let's just focus on that. Something, won't be a like whatever, you know? I plan to make this non-story about a thing I don't care about with a director that I find lacking, whose only real thing of note was hooking up with a generation-defining talent for three movies, into a story of some sort because I'm a journalist and I'm part of the digital media revolution.

Think about it, people. Free high quality media supported totally by ads. It'll never fail. I mean, in theory. Let's, I don't know, throw a random suggestion out there that maybe because the fact that the digital media never really invested in high quality journalism and only focused on posting popular memes from social media about news stories that everybody heard about that all they became generic and boring. And it was almost impossible to tell anything different from anyone else. Thus, they have the limited share.

But no, what could the internet age ever say about the concept of exclusive quality? And yes, inexplicably, the model that now seems to be working is the subscription model, a model that has existed for 300 years. Oh my god, He-Man isn't a story. It doesn't matter. He-Man's stupid! None of this is relevant. God, thousands of thousands of websites are about to go bankrupt. Not this one, because but other ones. Oh dear god, it's the apocalypse! The apocalypse is upon us for digital media!