Kate Middleton was abducted by aliens today. She was gone for a full 5 minutes and then was returned. When asked about the incident, she said she was fine and nothing had happened, and said that the only thing that occurred was that they said, “Are you sure which one you are?” over and over again. Kate plans to continue her life as before as nothing has really changed.

The only concern now is the mysterious disappearance of Pippa, after reports of bright lights were seen in the skies over her hotel.