Xi Jinping officially fulfills lifelong dream and becomes dictator. Xi Jinping, noted madman and asshole, has officially fulfilled his lifelong dream of becoming an unstoppable dictator in charge of over a billion people. The unstable madman who tragically and unfortunately represents the pathetic norm of politics today proudly cast his vote to, in a quote "Go balls to the walls crazy."

Xi Jinping is said to be really excited to stop with all this bullshit of giving a crap about stuff and just do whatever he wants. Who knows, he's probably smoking pot and you know every few days he'll probably riot and go out, just take a hammer to some horses. Just really, take a hammer to a stable and just see what goes on. It's a fun new life for him. He thinks he can get away with getting people to call him lord awesome face in a matter of weeks. It's truly a fun time for him and a very scary time for the rest of us.

The world  the world is sinking into totalitarian authoritism, nobody seems to care. Oh well, whatever. Maybe we'll just get super into mints. He can't control mints. Yeah. Mints. That's what we'll all do. Start a movement, you know, get really precise about it, and be snobs. Yeah. "Long live mints."