He's just a young 33 year old billionaire. He don't know nothing. He's still got so much to learn in this world, yet every once in a while he may accidentally lose your data to a dangerous ... Let your data be used and let ploys to circumvent democracy, but dang it, that's all part of learning how to grow up in this harsh, cruel world with its brutal, blistering cruelty. He's a good boy, darn it. Did you see him? He wore a nice suit and everything to your little meany parade. That's right, I used a bad word to describe all of you meanies.

He's just trying his best to slowly erase the very fabric of our democracy and make us all live in a personal, unfulfilling void of misery that never seems to end as we all progress as we inch closer and closer to some sort of zenith of general unhappiness so that all we do is exist on bland imitation. “I can't believe it's not true fulfillment” sort of thing, instead of the real, personal contentment in ourselves. It's a noble goal. It's one that should be celebrated.

What are other Millennials doing, eating avocado toast? Selfish Millennials all living in their parents' basements because they have trouble getting jobs in this gig economy. Since when were gigs uncool? Musicians get gigs, rock stars get gigs. Do you think Elvis Presley or Pat Boone would complain about all the gigs that people could get? No! They would be appreciative of it. I feel that we are so mean to everybody in this poor boy's little life. That's just the truth of it.