Today the Royal Family revealed the name of the latest baby of William and Kate. And boy, I don't think anybody was expecting this name from the Royal Family. The full name is of course:

“Arthur - Charles - William - Alexandrinus - Reed the Crusader That Knows All and Is All and Will Rampage Through the Very Earth Astride His Mighty Steed - Anointed by the Sacred Moondust -Fear the Very Sound of his Voice for He Shall Crush All Those He Feels Beneath Him - He Shall Rage War and Prove Victorious - He Will Return and Once He is Done Raging War on his Enemies He Shall Rage War on All of Mankind."

Also, did anybody see that movie, A Quiet Place? It was a pretty good movie. I liked it a lot. I know it's weird to name my son this, but I really felt John Krasinski successfully proved himself to be a good director.

Other movies I'm excited for, now that we got this baby thing done: seeing Avengers Infinity War. I mean, everybody in the world's excited for that.

Also, if we're jokingly spit-balling about names, in this clear joking way, you know, an official namer should no way put this down as a real name. Repeat after me: this is just a joke, and we're not doing this. No matter what you do, don't announce this as the real name. I know you're a distant cousin, and you only got the job as the official royal decree-er of baby names because your mother called my grandmother, but understand, do not use this as a real name. This was an entirely joke-based name: let's go with Purple Duck. So, other joke names: Purple Duck, Giant Man-sized Helicopter Shoot Dinosaur Tyrannosaurus Rex. Yeah. That'd probably be a really weird name to announce.

Anyways, I've gotta go, gotta go do stuff. And clearly, you're paying total attention to what I'm saying, because I only see one headphone you're listening to, so I trust you on that.

Anyways, bye!

It was a truly a strange, strange name to give a royal baby. When asked for further comment, Geoffrey, the official royal baby namer, said, "Yeah! I would suppose it's true that they wanted that, but clearly they started that conversation with, 'You know what'd be crazy? If we named the baby, and then, I just bait-name the baby.' So, you know. And I have very little power in England at all, but what I say about them names is law, and so they can't change it unless a deer speaks, is the official ruling? No, those laws come from ancient times."

And it is true, that under official charter of the English Royal Family, the name of the baby can only be changed if a deer breaks into Buckingham Palace, and says, "The name shall be changed!"

But the 70s were a long time ago, and we now know that deer most likely can't speak, and also, if they did, would have very little opinions about the names of the royals.