Cricket:      Boy, am I excited to announce ... To interview this person. I really dislike bad movies, or as he's known to his friends, Justin, is here. One of the biggest YouTube film critics on YouTube, and I got a chance to meet up and talk with Justin, or, I Really Hate Bad Movies.       

Cricket:  Hi. Can I call you Justin? Cool.

"Justin":  Of course, you can call me Justin.

Cricket:  Cool, cool, cool. I do have to say, I am a really big fan.

"Justin":  Really?

Cricket:  Yeah. A huge fan. It's really awesome. I've got so many questions to ask you. Let's start out with, what was your favorite movie of the last year?

"Justin":   Man, that is so simple. Thor: Ragnarok.

Cricket:    Really?

"Justin":    Yeah. I've got to tell you, man, those Marvel movies are kick ass. I love them so much. I see every one. I go right at midnight, first day premiere. That's who I see them at, when I see them. I have never missed a Marvel movie in my life, since the first Iron Man came out. I am a Marvel-for-lifer, die-hard Marvel ... Marvel can't do bad, in my opinion.

Cricket:   That's great. Have you seen ... What's your opinion of Black Panther?

"Justin":    I haven't actually seen that one yet.

Cricket:    But I thought you said you were a huge fan of Marvel.

"Justin":    Of course I am, and I love the Marvel movies. They are the best.

Cricket:    Why haven't you seen Black Panther?

"Justin":    Just because I haven't gotten around to it yet. I just haven't gotten around to it yet, and listen. I know what you're thinking, and I'm a huge fan of Chris Rock.

Cricket:   That's not what I was thinking. I was just thinking you were busy.

"Justin":   Yeah. I've been busy. That's exactly the reason I haven't gotten to see it yet. Super busy. I've got a bunch of stuff going on, so much stuff. It's unbelievable how much stuff is in my life right now. You see this stuff I'm ... What stuff have you been dealing with?

Cricket:   I'm moving pretty soon. The entire office headquarters is most likely moving pretty soon.

"Justin":   Yeah, I'm doing something similar.

Cricket:   You're moving across country?

"Justin":    No, I'm not doing that. I'm doing other things.

Cricket:    Like what?

"Justin":     Big things. Let me tell you, I've got some big stuff going on, huge stuff going on. You wouldn't even believe the huge amount of stuff I've got going on.

Cricket:     Anyway, can I ask you about some other movies that came out?

"Justin":     Of course, man. I'd love to tell you about any movies. I love movies. I'm so excited for movies, except for bad movies, which, as previously established, was the name of my YouTube channel, I am not a fan of.

Cricket:     That's cool. This year's Oscar nominees. What did you think of Phantom Thread?

"Justin":      Loved it.

Cricket:      Really?

"Justin":      Yeah. That's such a good movie.

Cricket:      Cool. Do you have any more to say about it?

"Justin":       It's Phantom Thread. You know, ghosts.

Cricket:       Okay. Call Me By Your Name?

"Justin":        Is that the one with the Lone Ranger?

Cricket:        Yeah.

"Justin":       Can we talk about how big of a flop that is? Can you believe it. I can't believe Disney let that flop. You know, just because it shows you ... reboot culture is so out of control. I can't believe how many reboots Hollywood does. Get a grip, Hollywood. We don't need all these reboots. The classics were classics for a reason.

Cricket:      Wait, the Lone Ranger show has to be at least 50 years old. Were you really that big of a fan of it?

"Justin":      Yeah, obviously. I watched the Lone Ranger. Of course I did.

Cricket:      Wait. Really?

"Justin":       Yeah. Big fan of the Lone Ranger. 100 percent fan of Lone Ranger. Love everything about the Lone Ranger. Long-time fan of the Lone Ranger. You can't even question me on it, can you? I'm so good at it.

Cricket:       What's his catch phrase?

"Justin":       Anyways, what was this movie you were talking to me about, this had the Lone Ranger dude?

Cricket:      Yeah. It's Call Me By Your Name.

"Justin":      Is that the one with the guy and the other guy, and they're ... you know. Yeah. Good movie. Really good movie.

Cricket:      Listen, if you haven't seen it, you can just say you haven't seen it.

"Justin":     Why wouldn't I see it? It's a good movie that got good reviews, so I should see it. Why would you think I wouldn't see it?

Cricket:     Listen, you can just tell me. I don't really want to press you on this, even though I'm pretty sure I know exactly why you didn't see it.

"Justin":     I don't like what you're insinuating. Let me tell you, some of my best friends are ...

Cricket:     Okay, let's move on. Let's move on.

"Justin":     Whatever.

Cricket:     From watching your videos, I know you're a huge fan of horror movies.

"Justin":     Love horror movies, classics like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Best horror movies ever, right?

Cricket:    What do you think of this current crop of horror movies?

"Justin":     It's such bullshit. Can you believe all the found footage movies they're doing nowadays? It's such crap.

Cricket:     I guess. I mean that trend sort of died out a couple years ago. .

"Justin":     No, horror movies are so bad nowadays. Let me tell you. They're the worst. They're all really bad.

Cricket:     You are aware that a horror movie has just won an Oscar.

"Justin":     Yeah. It is good, I guess. It was okay.

Cricket:    Really? It was just okay?

"Justin":    Yeah. There were some plot issues, I would say. I'm not criticizing it, just saying that there's more than a few plot issues and plot holes, and a bunch of inconsistencies, and I don't think they established the rules that well.

Cricket:    Really?

"Justin":    Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Cricket:    I always try and be positive about everything. I want to be. Justin, I'm trying so hard to see the world as good, and inherently good as I can, and it is so hard. You don't even know. I feel that the world is constantly betraying me, and no matter what I do, it seems to get worse, but Justin, I have to think that the world can be good. I have to believe you're a good person, Justin. Do you get that? I know it is not really fair to ask you to redeem the human race, but I need you too.

"Justin":     I would love that too, but it's so much all this CGI bullshit.

Cricket:    Okay. Okay. Clear blue lake. Clear blue lake. Clear blue lake. You're sitting at the edge of a cliff on a large mountain. You look down it and you see that you could drop hundreds of miles, but you are confident and you let your confident and cool and let you your feet dangle over it. The sun is rising. The air around you is crisp. And over in a corner you see a stampede of wild horses. They are free and beautiful and you are calmed by them. You briefly consider taming them, but you know that isn't possible and you respect them for that. The world is fantastic and beautiful and all the great things are there. You are happy.