The man who can eat 300 lobsters in one day and will not get sick and/or gain weight has issued a decree about the SpongeBob SquarePants musical getting nominated for so many Tonys.

The great bearded face of the man who can 300 lobsters in a day and not get sick and/or gain weight has decreed in his magnificent baritone to one of his hundreds of followers that live with him in the remote mountain compound in the Appalachians that he is pleased that the musical SpongeBob SquarePants did so well, and he says although it was snided at by the Broadway establishment, now that it has proven to be such a critical success he hopes that Broadway will lose a little bit of their elitism.

He did say that he agrees with the general statement that he feels the Great Light Way has lost a lot of its originality, but shows that show originality in stage direction and stage music and excellent performances must still be praised, and he's warned against the idea that this is a new phenomenon, not a general trend.

It was then that the small and broken courier who had been traveling for weeks without sleep or eating collapsed in my office, and I don't know what more the man who can eat 300 lobsters a day without getting sick and/or gaining weight had to say about this phenomenon, about the now-Tony-nominated SpongeBob musical. Positive things, negative things—who knows?